Wow...that last post sounded a tad emo, huh? Whoops. After all of the drama of being "best friends" with someone and then having them angry with me when I didn't know it and then to mend the relationship somewhat only to have it fall apart again...well...it's just been emotionally exhausting. We've made up...again...this sounds so much like middle school when I read this...not a place I really want to go back to...
Anyway, I've been having an extremely hard time getting over this...which is really bothering me. I mean, I forgave this friend already...it just...I think what really bothers me is that I'm a bit jaded. I'm having a really difficult time trusting people; people who I should be able to trust. I feel like it's taken so long for me to come out of my shell, for me to begin to show people who I really am and now I've regressed. It sucks. I've totally gone back to that old familiar corner of insecurity and it's driving me crazy.
I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to open back up to people...I mean, this sounds a little weird, but I've actually never felt closer to any other human before...I mean, I'd never clicked with someone like that before and now the relationship is ... I don't even know what it is.
Sorry! This was supposed to be less emo! Well, I guess the good news is that I have One who's always with me, who I can always trust and that I have been working on building some other relationships with people I feel I could probably trust sometime in the future. And I'm learning how to guard my heart even better (although, I'm not sure if that one's entirely good). I'm making progress, it's just not as fast as I would like.
Anyway, I've been having an extremely hard time getting over this...which is really bothering me. I mean, I forgave this friend already...it just...I think what really bothers me is that I'm a bit jaded. I'm having a really difficult time trusting people; people who I should be able to trust. I feel like it's taken so long for me to come out of my shell, for me to begin to show people who I really am and now I've regressed. It sucks. I've totally gone back to that old familiar corner of insecurity and it's driving me crazy.
I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to open back up to people...I mean, this sounds a little weird, but I've actually never felt closer to any other human before...I mean, I'd never clicked with someone like that before and now the relationship is ... I don't even know what it is.
Sorry! This was supposed to be less emo! Well, I guess the good news is that I have One who's always with me, who I can always trust and that I have been working on building some other relationships with people I feel I could probably trust sometime in the future. And I'm learning how to guard my heart even better (although, I'm not sure if that one's entirely good). I'm making progress, it's just not as fast as I would like.
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