Latest Craftiness

    So, I know it's been a bit...blame it on the craziness of Christmas.

    Mom, Natasha and I have been crafting these past few days!  My latest trial has been tile decopauge coasters, which have worked out very well so far.  They're very easy and inexpensive to make too!  I'm not sure if there's a market for them though...we'll see.  Man I need an etsy account!  Mom and Tash have been overloading me with craft ideas--good and bad, I guess.
    Back to work on Wednesday =/  I've really enjoyed this five-day weekend!  I'm not going to school this term; I need a bit of a break after something like seven consecutive terms!  So, hopefully, I'll be able to do more crafting and blogging in the next few months.
    Oh, also, I went pinterest crazy today...never happened before, but it was exhilarating!!!

Update

So, updates....
The prayer retreat was super refreshing...what came out of it is...well, more prayer.  Se la vi!  I understand the good intentions behind the prayer group that's coming out of this...but really? Do we need to set aside more time to pray for ourselves?  Be held accountable to following our dreams? I respect and understand the need for movement, and it's awesome that at least something is happening...but why so slowly?

Anyway...fast forward to this past Sunday, it was the first Sunday of the month and we had an evening service at church...first night.

We had worship (I got pulled into doing the media) and half way through, the media just totally breaks down.  So, I'm kinda bummed that I couldn't help the worship team out and get the words on screen...but we keep worshiping.  Then Bruce (the pastor) comes up and asks anyone who's in a place of waiting to come forward to get prayed for...I see one young woman that I absolutely love go up there and know she's the one God would have me pray for...this is for her:

The Waiting, The Suffering

You cry for your sister
You cry for your brother
You wait, you suffer

You cry for your father
You cry for your mother
You wait, you suffer

You cry out, you cry out
Who do you run to?
Who do you run to?

You cry for the injustice
You cry for the weakness
You wait, you suffer

You cry for the hunger
You cry for the need
You wait, you suffer

You cry out, you cry out
Who do you run to?
Who do you run to?

Who will be your rescue
from the waiting?
Who will come and save you
from the suffering?

He has already suffered
He has already endured
He has already loved you
He has already cured

He's there in the waiting
He's there in the pain
He's there in the suffering
And He's there in the shame

So throw off your burdens
His yoke is so light
The weight of your sorrow
is no longer your plight

He gives you grace for the waiting
And even joy in the pain
He won't leave you alone in suffering
And of you, He remains unashamed.

Sing praise my soul, sing praise.


So, after I prayed with her, Bruce called up the young men in the room...and the girls got to pray for them!  (almost never happens) It was AWESOME!  IT was so cool to see the young women come around these young men and support and encourage them!

Anyway...that's the update. =)

History Maker...What Have We Become?

    The past few weeks, something's been eating at me, nagging at the back of my mind.  About three weeks ago, a guy at church stood up and made an announcement about a prayer retreat that two 20 somethings I know are heading up:

Who we are: A group of twenty-somethings tired of living for ourselves.

 Fed up with complacency, restless, and ready to do more. 

We are dreamers. We are gifted. We have seen Gods faithfulness through those whove gone before us. 

We grew up with tales of Bible smuggling and the miraculous. Weve seen it firsthand. Weve done DTSs.

 Weve gone to Bible College. Weve grown up in church. Weve seen things go wonderfully right and terribly wrong.

 We believe in a God who uses not only our passion but also are intellect and creativity. 

We want fresh vision. We see the world changing around us. 

We want to pair our educations and crafts with the radical kinds of lives our patents led.

 We want a challenge. But heres the thing. We are waiting.

 We are well-educated, under-employed, talented, God-fearing men and women. And we are waiting. 

We are waiting for that awesome job opportunity or internship. 

We are waiting to be discovered. We are waiting for relationships.

 We are waiting for God to bring opportunities into our lives that give us that deep sense of purpose.

 We are praying for whats next. We arent sure where to go. Or what to do.

 We are waiting for a move of God. But are we listening...

What we are going to do about it: Live more intentionally. Pray instead of complain. 

Seek instead of wait. Encourage instead of judge. Network. Essentially, this is going to be like a prayer retreat. 

A time to get away and seek the Lord in an purposed manner. In a proactive way. 

We are adults. Gone are the days of church camps. Lets be the ones to initiate something.

 Lets stop waiting for a structure or a pastor to tell us what God wants us to do and ask Him ourselves.

 Lets dream together. Lets challenge each other. Lets encourage one another. Lets pray together.

    This sounded super cheesy to me at first, but it's been bothering me these past few weeks.

    At youth group tonight, we were singing Hosanna by Hillsong United.  It goes like this:

I see the King of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes

I see His love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith, with selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

    So we're singing this song, and the part that's highlighted reminds me of another song.  It's called History Maker, by Delirious.

Is it true today that when people pray

Cloudless skies will break

Kings and queens will shake

Yes it's true and I believe it

I'm living for you

Is it true today that when people pray

We'll see dead men rise

And the blind set free

Yes it's true and I believe it

I'm living for you

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land

I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind

I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run

Into your arms, into your arms again

Into your arms, into your arms again 

Well it's true today that when people stand

With the fire of God, and the truth in hand

We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing

We'll see broken hearts making history

Yes it's true and I believe it

We're living for you

    I remember singing this in middle and high school and thinking, "Yeah!  I'm gonna be a history maker!  All of us are!"  But the truth is: all of "us" (meaning the people in youth group when I was a student) haven't turned out that way.  Some of them are off doing drugs, some have gotten pregnant, married and divorced, some of them don't have a clue about what they're called to do with their lives.  And have I really turned out to be a history maker myself?  Are we a generation who has risen up to take their place?  I can't honestly answer, "Yes" to either of those questions.  What happened?  Where did the passion go?  How did we get lost?  How did we get so caught up in other things that we have to call a retreat just to get back to what God wanted us to be doing in the first place?  Will this retreat even help to fix that and what is going to keep us from going back after it's all over?

    

SYATP-WSHS

    So my sister and I got up at the lovely hour of 6:30 A.M. and headed to West Salem High School for See You at the Pole.  I had forgotten how awkward it is.  I forgot how insecure we all were.  Standing around that flagpole, in awkward silence with the cold morning wind blowing straight through my lumberjack flannel and jeans, I couldn't help but look around at the faces in the circle.  It was surprisingly easy to read the thoughts on the kids' faces; one boy clearly thinking, "I hope she didn't think that prayer was dumb," as he smiles across the circle at her.  She smiling back thinking, "I hope my hair looks okay."  Another kid consumed with thoughts of the test they have next period, another with how cold they are in the short shorts and tank top they chose to wear; another student looking at every passerby who decides not to join the group and thinking about how they'll be treated later for taking a stand and still another checking their cell phone for the time thinking, "Surely the bell's gonna ring soon."

    PEOPLE!!!!

    We are so consumed with ourselves, our own insecurities, that we can't even pray in public!  Are we as parents, pastors, youth workers and mentors really doing that poor of a job in teaching our kids to pray?  I hope not, but in a world where Santa Clause reigns, how can we expect our kids to ask an omniscient being for anything more than what they want?

SYATP

In approximately 8 hours, teens will gather around their school flagpoles to pray for their schools.  I get the privilege and honor of going with my youngest sister who is a sophmore at West Salem High School this year.  My goal: to pray for them as they pray for others, as they pray for their school.  That they would be strong and courageous, that they would find who they are in God, not each other.  That they would love each other enough to speak the truth, no matter what the cost.  That they realize God's extravagant love for them.  That they take the time to fan into flame the passion that has been lit within them.  That young men rise up to protect and serve their generation.  That young women answer the call on their lives to nurture and care for their generation.  That they realize how little time they have here, and that they they realize it soon.

"We sell our dreams and our potential to escape through that buzz..."

Honestly Seeking Honesty posted this on her facebook.  I'm really not one for the rap genre, but have a listen.

In Recent News...

    Wow...that last post sounded a tad emo, huh?  Whoops.  After all of the drama of being "best friends" with someone and then having them angry with me when I didn't know it and then to mend the relationship somewhat only to have it fall apart again...well...it's just been emotionally exhausting.  We've made up...again...this sounds so much like middle school when I read this...not a place I really want to go back to...
    Anyway, I've been having an extremely hard time getting over this...which is really bothering me.  I mean, I forgave this friend already...it just...I think what really bothers me is that I'm a bit jaded.  I'm having a really difficult time trusting people; people who I should be able to trust.  I feel like it's taken so long for me to come out of my shell, for me to begin to show people who I really am and now I've regressed.  It sucks.  I've totally gone back to that old familiar corner of insecurity and it's driving me crazy.
    I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to open back up to people...I mean, this sounds a little weird, but I've actually never felt closer to any other human before...I mean, I'd never clicked with someone like that before and now the relationship is ... I don't even know what it is.
    Sorry!  This was supposed to be less emo!  Well, I guess the good news is that I have One who's always with me, who I can always trust and that I have been working on building some other relationships with people I feel I could probably trust sometime in the future.  And I'm learning how to guard my heart even better (although, I'm not sure if that one's entirely good).  I'm making progress, it's just not as fast as I would like.

My Sister, My Friend

I miss you, my sister, my friend
Where have you gone?
"Nowhere," you say?

I remember how we used to talk
About boys and romance
And weddings and God

Then he came along, stole you away
Why have you gone so far away?
"No one," you say?

I tried telling you to take it slow
You said that you would,
Then, that I didn't know

I couldn't keep my mouth shut,
Couldn't agree

After all, you asked me for honesty

I guess you only wanted Madame Honesty
When she agreed with Senor Hormone
And we both know they don't speak.

 Now we don't speak
I wish things were different
I wish you'd come home

I heard you're tying the knot
Heard I'm not supposed to know
Good luck to you and to beau

I remember when we talked about weddings,
Said we'd always be there
No matter how far, in foul weather or fair

Well you've gone far away and still live in town
I just can't believe how all this went down
I guess you're still lost, hope soon you'll decide to be found.

Lead Me

    About a month ago, I read a blog posted by my sister (Honestly Seeking Honesty) and it's actually stuck with me for a bit; I just can't seem to get it out of my head.  One of the things she said was something she'd actually stolen from our mom: "I ride my own white horse!"  That's totally true!  If you think you're going to stop me from going into battle, chances are, you're going to be sore in the morning.  Also, I don't need to be rescued...I've already been saved.
  
     I don't want a man who expects to be my savior, nor do I want him to worship the ground I walk on.  I don't want someone who just really wants his mama.  I want a partner. I want to spend my days with a man (not to be confused with the ever-popular but oh-so-disappointing man-boy), one who will fight with me when I can't win alone.  One who will stand up and be a protector when there's danger.  A man who follows God  and has the guts to stand up to me when I'm wrong, a strong man. 

 Then I heard this song for the first time in a while.

So, like I said, this has kind of been rolling around in my brain for a while.  My sister's conclusion was that, although she doesn't have her eye on anyone, she feels like she's ready to be in a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship. 

Mine is: I know what qualities I'm attracted to, but I'm not ready.  I don't think I have much to give at this point.  I would probably be more like a parasite than a partner right now.  Someday, I know I'll meet him.  But for right now, I guess I'll just have to keep waiting until God brings him into my life and makes me ready for the grand adventure.

    I love it when friendships are renewed.  I took my own advice from earlier in the week and a couple of my formerly faded friendships have regained some of the luster they once had.  Exciting!  And an answer to my prayers!  I'm amazed at how much a lack of communication can hinder a relationship; communication of how you feel, communication of what you like and don't like, etc.  If you don't tell people when they hurt you, and you get upset when they don't figure it out and apologize, can you really blame them?  The answer is no.  No, you can't blame them, because you're not playing fair.  Now, if they were to knowingly hurt you, and not do anything about it, that's a different story.

    So, for future reference, tell me when I do something that bothers you.  Tell me when I hurt you.  TELL ME!  That way, we don't have to spend months apart because you're worried about how I'll react to you telling me the truth.  The truth sets us free.  We can't be free if we can't speak truth to each other.

This tongue was made for lickin'...er talkin'....

    Today was another long class.  Six and a half hours and we didn't get out early this week.  We had a test, some lecture and then it was off to lunch.  After lunch and trying, unsuccessfully, to nap in my car (apparently, I'm taller now than when I was eight), it was back to class for more lecture (which I ended up leaving to crash on a gross old couch in a nearby sky bridge).  For lab this afternoon, we had to use our spit in a starch compound mixed with iodine to demonstrate how the enzymes function at different pH levels.
   
    So I'm sitting there, spitting into a not-so-sterilized glass beaker, trying to work up 5 mL of saliva and I got to thinking; what if my spit could dissolve things?  That would be so freaking cool!  It could be like a super power that I would vow to use only for good.  I've spent the last few hours pondering this and there was just something about the idea that wouldn't let me forget about it.  I came to two conclusions and I didn't look good in my superheroine spandex and cape outfit, so we'll go with the other one...

    What if it's not about dissolving inanimate objects?  I know, I know, what kind of a super power would that be, right?=)  I mean, your saliva does "dissolve" some stuff.  In fact, simple carbohydrates are 5-10% digested by the time you're done chewing (all the more reason to chew well, like mama taught you and not swallow your food whole, like a penguin or snake).  Then a picture of a tongue popped into my head.  Big, bulky and generally unimpressive at first sight, the tongue is actually quite amazing.  It's strong enough to not become tired after eating a Thanksgiving Day dinner big enough to feed a small country for a week, yet this mass of muscle is agile enough to maneuver food into chewing position without getting in the way of the teeth (usually).  It can be manipulating a mouthful of food and still feel that single hair from the waiter you were rude to.  But still, this is not the main point.

    Tongue-lashing.  We've all heard of it and many have been the victims of it.  The way we use our tongues can directly impact whether people live or die, whether they want to live or die.  Would it sound silly if I told you, "Tongue and I are here to save you!" ??? Silly, yes, but true none the less.  The way in which I speak should make people want to live, desire to do the same for others and inspire them to action.  Lately, my speech has been seriously lacking in these ways.  I think I know why.  It's hard for me to open up to people in certain ways, having been hurt before (I know, welcome to Earth, third rock from the Sun, right?).  It takes me a long time to trust, as I'm sure it does you.  As close friendships shrivel up and die around me, I can't help but shrink back into my cave, my safe haven. 

    The thought comes to mind, that maybe it's not my friends, fading away.  Maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm the one who fades away.  Maybe I made the first hurting comment "jokingly" so it wouldn't sting so much when they returned the favor.  Ouch.  Well, I guess I don't really have a reason to be bitter about that anymore then, since it's my own doing.  In my own insecurities and past hurts, I've done just what I promised myself I wouldn't.  Luckily, I have people around me who will call me out should this get any worse.  I'm just glad the Doctor caught it first =)  Get out there and lick somebody!

'Cause You're a Big Kid Now?

So you're a big kid now
You're an adult, you're grown
You got your big kid panties on
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
You can do what you want
You can stay out late
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
No one tells you what to do
You don't have to listen to anyone
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
You can drink
You can smoke
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
You can mess around with whoever
You don't worry-you're invincible
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
You don't care about what others think
You don't care to think about others
'Cause you're a big kid now

So you're a big kid now
You don't need to think about
the little kids that might follow you
'Cause you're a big kid now

You're just a big kid now.

Inspiration

So, last week in class, we talked about the respiratory system.  I was going over it today and came across this: "Breathing, or pulmonary ventilation, consists of a repetitive cycle of inspiration (inhaling) and expiration (exhaling).  One complete inspiration and expiration is called a respiratory cycle."

Each breath we take requires inspiration.  Without it we can no longer breath; without it, we die.

Even more striking than that though, is the fact that once we've inspired, we have to expire.  All inspiration expires. 

This is true of more than just our physiological beings...it's true of our everyday lives.  Yes, to live full and healthy lives, we need inspiration; but that inspiration also has to pass eventually-maybe not in the space of one breath, but eventually-in order to make room for new inspiration.

Letting go of our inspiration can be hard, to say the very least.  God calls us to let go of our own good ideas so He can take us to a new level of inspiration.  There are even times when He asks us to let go of some inspiration that He gave us so He can give us even bigger and better inspiration.

In order to survive spiritually, we must live in a continual cycle of receiving inspiration and allowing God to tell us when it's ready to expire. 

I like breathing but if I only breath in, it won't be too long before either my lungs explode or I die from carbon monoxide poisoning...