History Maker...What Have We Become?

    The past few weeks, something's been eating at me, nagging at the back of my mind.  About three weeks ago, a guy at church stood up and made an announcement about a prayer retreat that two 20 somethings I know are heading up:

Who we are: A group of twenty-somethings tired of living for ourselves.

 Fed up with complacency, restless, and ready to do more. 

We are dreamers. We are gifted. We have seen Gods faithfulness through those whove gone before us. 

We grew up with tales of Bible smuggling and the miraculous. Weve seen it firsthand. Weve done DTSs.

 Weve gone to Bible College. Weve grown up in church. Weve seen things go wonderfully right and terribly wrong.

 We believe in a God who uses not only our passion but also are intellect and creativity. 

We want fresh vision. We see the world changing around us. 

We want to pair our educations and crafts with the radical kinds of lives our patents led.

 We want a challenge. But heres the thing. We are waiting.

 We are well-educated, under-employed, talented, God-fearing men and women. And we are waiting. 

We are waiting for that awesome job opportunity or internship. 

We are waiting to be discovered. We are waiting for relationships.

 We are waiting for God to bring opportunities into our lives that give us that deep sense of purpose.

 We are praying for whats next. We arent sure where to go. Or what to do.

 We are waiting for a move of God. But are we listening...

What we are going to do about it: Live more intentionally. Pray instead of complain. 

Seek instead of wait. Encourage instead of judge. Network. Essentially, this is going to be like a prayer retreat. 

A time to get away and seek the Lord in an purposed manner. In a proactive way. 

We are adults. Gone are the days of church camps. Lets be the ones to initiate something.

 Lets stop waiting for a structure or a pastor to tell us what God wants us to do and ask Him ourselves.

 Lets dream together. Lets challenge each other. Lets encourage one another. Lets pray together.

    This sounded super cheesy to me at first, but it's been bothering me these past few weeks.

    At youth group tonight, we were singing Hosanna by Hillsong United.  It goes like this:

I see the King of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes

I see His love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith, with selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

    So we're singing this song, and the part that's highlighted reminds me of another song.  It's called History Maker, by Delirious.

Is it true today that when people pray

Cloudless skies will break

Kings and queens will shake

Yes it's true and I believe it

I'm living for you

Is it true today that when people pray

We'll see dead men rise

And the blind set free

Yes it's true and I believe it

I'm living for you

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land

I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind

I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run

Into your arms, into your arms again

Into your arms, into your arms again 

Well it's true today that when people stand

With the fire of God, and the truth in hand

We'll see miracles, we'll see angels sing

We'll see broken hearts making history

Yes it's true and I believe it

We're living for you

    I remember singing this in middle and high school and thinking, "Yeah!  I'm gonna be a history maker!  All of us are!"  But the truth is: all of "us" (meaning the people in youth group when I was a student) haven't turned out that way.  Some of them are off doing drugs, some have gotten pregnant, married and divorced, some of them don't have a clue about what they're called to do with their lives.  And have I really turned out to be a history maker myself?  Are we a generation who has risen up to take their place?  I can't honestly answer, "Yes" to either of those questions.  What happened?  Where did the passion go?  How did we get lost?  How did we get so caught up in other things that we have to call a retreat just to get back to what God wanted us to be doing in the first place?  Will this retreat even help to fix that and what is going to keep us from going back after it's all over?

    

SYATP-WSHS

    So my sister and I got up at the lovely hour of 6:30 A.M. and headed to West Salem High School for See You at the Pole.  I had forgotten how awkward it is.  I forgot how insecure we all were.  Standing around that flagpole, in awkward silence with the cold morning wind blowing straight through my lumberjack flannel and jeans, I couldn't help but look around at the faces in the circle.  It was surprisingly easy to read the thoughts on the kids' faces; one boy clearly thinking, "I hope she didn't think that prayer was dumb," as he smiles across the circle at her.  She smiling back thinking, "I hope my hair looks okay."  Another kid consumed with thoughts of the test they have next period, another with how cold they are in the short shorts and tank top they chose to wear; another student looking at every passerby who decides not to join the group and thinking about how they'll be treated later for taking a stand and still another checking their cell phone for the time thinking, "Surely the bell's gonna ring soon."

    PEOPLE!!!!

    We are so consumed with ourselves, our own insecurities, that we can't even pray in public!  Are we as parents, pastors, youth workers and mentors really doing that poor of a job in teaching our kids to pray?  I hope not, but in a world where Santa Clause reigns, how can we expect our kids to ask an omniscient being for anything more than what they want?

SYATP

In approximately 8 hours, teens will gather around their school flagpoles to pray for their schools.  I get the privilege and honor of going with my youngest sister who is a sophmore at West Salem High School this year.  My goal: to pray for them as they pray for others, as they pray for their school.  That they would be strong and courageous, that they would find who they are in God, not each other.  That they would love each other enough to speak the truth, no matter what the cost.  That they realize God's extravagant love for them.  That they take the time to fan into flame the passion that has been lit within them.  That young men rise up to protect and serve their generation.  That young women answer the call on their lives to nurture and care for their generation.  That they realize how little time they have here, and that they they realize it soon.

"We sell our dreams and our potential to escape through that buzz..."

Honestly Seeking Honesty posted this on her facebook.  I'm really not one for the rap genre, but have a listen.

In Recent News...

    Wow...that last post sounded a tad emo, huh?  Whoops.  After all of the drama of being "best friends" with someone and then having them angry with me when I didn't know it and then to mend the relationship somewhat only to have it fall apart again...well...it's just been emotionally exhausting.  We've made up...again...this sounds so much like middle school when I read this...not a place I really want to go back to...
    Anyway, I've been having an extremely hard time getting over this...which is really bothering me.  I mean, I forgave this friend already...it just...I think what really bothers me is that I'm a bit jaded.  I'm having a really difficult time trusting people; people who I should be able to trust.  I feel like it's taken so long for me to come out of my shell, for me to begin to show people who I really am and now I've regressed.  It sucks.  I've totally gone back to that old familiar corner of insecurity and it's driving me crazy.
    I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to open back up to people...I mean, this sounds a little weird, but I've actually never felt closer to any other human before...I mean, I'd never clicked with someone like that before and now the relationship is ... I don't even know what it is.
    Sorry!  This was supposed to be less emo!  Well, I guess the good news is that I have One who's always with me, who I can always trust and that I have been working on building some other relationships with people I feel I could probably trust sometime in the future.  And I'm learning how to guard my heart even better (although, I'm not sure if that one's entirely good).  I'm making progress, it's just not as fast as I would like.